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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2011|04:08 am]

Yay! The day and week ended very well!((: seem like i finally did something right! we talked things out, in a very light mood. Awesome((:

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(no subject) [Dec. 2nd, 2011|10:24 pm]

Damn tired.haven't eaten a meal today and I'm rushing over to the airport for green meeting.rushing there and there damn shag.gotta meet the peaches after this.hungry,tired,looking pale.wish you are or just call/text..

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(no subject) [Dec. 2nd, 2011|02:13 am]

all these gotta change.these are the minor challenges in our relationship.we need to find serious and good solution.I want this relationship still,I still want you.we both know that we want this relationship very much and we want each other very much.but all these gotta change,for the better.I still love you,baby.

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(no subject) [Nov. 26th, 2011|04:52 am]

Think after this I will bid goodbye. Whether this is my official last one, I'm still thinking. The thing is,I can't bear! Maybe I just need to leave for a period. Just need to get away from stress and say hello to studies. We'll see how it goes..

I know it has been awhile, but I'm REALLY hurt that people don't recognise the efforts I have put in and think that I only do that minimal stuff I need to do. I always do whatever I can. whenever I see something not done and I can do, I will do. idk... ): I'm really hurt,thats all.

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(no subject) [Apr. 28th, 2011|04:17 am]
idk after this long phone conversation,will thing change.hmm.no offence,but everytime you say you will do something,sometimes you dont.plus when you mention about this weakness of yours,idk whether you make the effort to get rid of this bad habit.yah..
And,i'll still continue to do my best to forget about all the shit.but realistically speaking,its damn hard to forget.but i'll just do my best not to let it be my our obstacle.yup.it has made such a big impact on me,thus its not gonna be easy.plus,this kinda thing is the last few things i want it to happen in my rship,so it really hurt me at that point of time badly.yah.and truthfully,i do hate her ttm.im sorry that i've to say this about your friend.but my stand is,she has done stuff like this,i hate her.whatever,i dont wanna talk about her.
In sec school,I used to think that having a well-known bf is a good thing.but im bloody wrong.its not good to have a bf who's popular among girls,got so many people who like/want him.i know they shouldnt be a threat at all.but i guess its cuz sth happen.yup.
Whatever.it's all over.im sick of thinking of all these. (and no,my bf didnt cheat on me.nope,he didnt do anything wrong.)

And realised i didnt talk to you about emotional needs.i guess i didnt know how to explain to you..

Ha.why am i writing all these here?i guess cuz we havent bought our book and this is truly the avenue for me to spill everything that i've kept in me,making me feel so horrible.ohwells.but im glad i didnt close down this LJ.and thanks for letting me rant,shoesmonologue!

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(no subject) [Apr. 27th, 2011|02:38 am]
ah,an avenue.finally.
I've no idea why i've been having heavy feelings since yesterday..today just sucked,pretty much.planned to nap awhile and study from late afternoon.but i woke up for dinner,then was tv and just 7questions of math toll now.i really dont have the heart to study alr.and exams are starting next week.HA.HA.HA.i have this cant-be-bothered attitude about it already.i totally lost the attitude i've 3years ago,preparing for the As.looking at people mugging in school,i wonder wth im doing.this is totally not me,not the attitude i always have towards exams.im in dead meat already i know.or maybe cuz its been 2years i havent been studying?cuz im one who needs momentum.or isit cuz i dont have the necessary support,or rather i dont feel the support or the push from the people close to me or the people whom i see often esp the special ones? I mean,in the past,im always studying with my bunch of good friends.there's the support and help from each other..or maybe its just my fault,i cant be bothered to make friends.the rest of my buddies are in year2 and 3.i need proper studying partners too.not that i dont have anyone to study with,but people whom study the exact same thing as me and have the sane studying frequency as me.now,i miss my girls and exclassmates.

And i guess im really having problem with myself.shitass irritating.i really needa know how to save and i needa learn to trust.now i learnt that gaining back trust from certain person is not easy.im doing my best,im always reminding myself.but im sorry,there're no improvements.i've failed.but i'll still keep on (at least) trying.sorry,for me once sth is done,i cant forget about it as much as i want to.you asked if you've done sth recently,my answer is no.you havent done anything wrong recently.its really me,i've this issue with myself..i'll handle it and not let it be a burden to you.

sometimes,i really need the emotional support from you.unknowingly,i got more emotionally dependently on you,and only came to realise recently.im sorry i cant be the independent gf that i told you i want.im sorry for all the late night calls when you're so tired.i should be more understanding.
Sometimes idk whether you really remember certain things.you said you will do something,but in the end you dont.sometimes i wonder if your oblivious to whats happening.sometimes i just need you to ask whether im okay.sometimes i really dont like to put things straight across directly,but still want you to know about it.sometimes,i just need sth else,other than reminding me of the shit,all the 'should-haves'.all these i know!i know what should have been done.i need sth else from you.

or maybe im asking too much of you.but where's the line.i want to know where isit.
Perhaps i shouldnt ask so much cuz im not exactly a fantastic partner.
And its not that you've done sth recently.its accumulated.

Still,i love what you did for my birthday.i was really surprised.thanks for that..i was really touched.
whatever it is,i still love you.

In the past 22years.im sick of being good but not the best.im never the best.never.in all aspect.family,work,sports,public speaking,language,academics etcetc.none.none at all.and this suck,big time.

Sometimes when i want to twitter,i gotta think twice,or sometimes delete the tweet for it may be a cause to sth awful,like an arguement/quarrel.and cuz to prevent someone else from getting hurt.i guess,i just have to fake certain things and to keep telling myself everything's okay,everything's good.at least lying to myself in this way,i'll be happy at the end of the day,thinking that everything's good.or i hope,at least...

(i'll be pretty disappointed if you dont know the address to this.)

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HAHHAHAHA. [Feb. 21st, 2011|03:28 am]
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<3 FOR LOVE. [Dec. 27th, 2010|06:59 am]
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2010|02:14 am]
im sucha shitass gf.im always giving shit.why can i be the gf i want myself to be and THE gf you want.words just come out of my mouth without thinking.When its really my fault,you will say its yours.but its definitely mine.i've caused so much shit and so much trouble for you.and i guess your family has pretty much disliked me.
Now,you're going to bed with a heavy heart,feeling so shitty.i've made you feel bad,this bad.and i really want to say,i do trust you.i really do..like what i've told you,when they said those things,i really didnt believe..im a dumb block to ask that stupid qn.really stupid.
Im sorry i've been so busy with work..so busy till i haven been spending time with you and for you as much as i usually do.i know i need to priortise on my studies as well.i will.i will work on that.
No,i dont want to lose you.never ever ever. I'll do sth about this,to remind myself forever not to make such stupid dumb f-up mistake anymore.no.not anymore.i will, i will do sth to remind myself..
You're not gonna see this anyway..you've never seen this blog of mine before..its okay,but im gonna improve as a gf.im gonna keep moving on to the gf we both want myself to be.
Im sorry.or perhaps,you're thinking,sorry is just another word.but im truly sorry..
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planning team for 'The noMADic Race-The Black Edition' [Dec. 1st, 2010|01:40 am]
As you are forming your teams to run the race of your lives, let’s just introduce our working family behind the planning of the noMADic Race Black! Edition and a little bit about what moves them and shakes them…

It’s time to meet the people who will be bringing you the noMADic Race Black! Edition.

And here we go :

Name : Ridhwan Yusoff

Programme Trainer and Curriculum Developer, the noMADic Race© Series

Name 3 Strengths you possess : Creative out of the box thinker, Optimistic keep your face to the sunshine attitude and Fast Learner

Name 3 Opportunities (weakness) you realize : Lack an attention to detail, Sometimes put in 100 per cent in everything including procrastination and dream too much

Who is my model leader ?

Barack Obama

because he is a beacon of change and possibility around the world and refuses to look at the misfortunes that all men have some but instead of the blessings that every men have many (Thanks Charles Dickens for this anecdote). Because he shows us not how good we are but how awesome we can be.

because he dares to challenge the process and do what is right and not what is easy. that he knows that winning often means lowering yourself to lift your team. that he dares to get his hands dirty, his lips bruised and sometimes his name trampled upon in order to connect with the masses on an individual and human level.

because leadership is about lifting every legacy the world has experienced to another level of awesome. and he did just that because the world became a better place when rosa parks sat down so that martin luther king junior could march and obama could run.

What is leadership?

Leadership is influence. It is about leaving every person and place not only better than you found it, to show them what’s possible, to introduce them to their truest best selves. To be an example for others to follow by doing the very thing that is difficult and impossible to some and empowering them with the resources to do that very impossible. Stretching beyond your limit and going the extra mile because stretching always opens up new possibilities.

A wise man once told me that rank is only what you wear but respect comes from the bottom of the heart. Leadership is never about title. It is to be able to lead and influence where you are planted. To show up in life as a merchant of wow and rockstar of awesomeness. By giving life your best shot, trail a blaze of glory, make a dent in the universe.

To inspire others to be the best that they can be because of the experience you give them as a leader. For humans are persuaded by reason and moved by emotion. When you bring out the best of our emotions and use them as fuel on our rocket of life, we can reach the sky. And why make the sky the limit when there are footsteps on the moon?

Top 3 Leadership Quotes :

“A ship in harbour is safe but that’s not what they are built for.”

“Always leave every person and place better than you found them.”

“In matters of principle, stay firm as a rock. In matters of style, flow like a river.”

Name : Timothy Low

Programme Director, noMADic Race© Black! Edition

3 Strengths : Public speaking, leadership training and creative thinking

3 Opportunities (Weaknesses) : Logistics, not finishing what i started, barely being able to trust others to do a good job

Model Leader : Lee Kuan Yew

He cared for his people so greatly that when the future seemed dark after separation, he cried. He was a visionary, seeing many others into the future, seeing what Singapore could be and not purely what it was. He was a situational leader, he put in the right treatment for the right time. Yet he was also a leader with an open mind and non-rigid methods. He didn’t enforce that his son had to employ his ways and no other. He lived his life to serve the nation, the people even in his old age and numbered days. Lastly he fulfilled the objective of leadership, raising Lee Hsien Loong to be the next PM, and the baton is on to PM Lee Hsien Loong to be a better leader than his father . PM Lee Hsien Loong now continues the legacy of leadership.

What is leadership?

Leadership in its purest form is influence. The ability to influence someone and use that ability to one’s own benefit and goals, that’s what separates a good leader from a leader with bad motives.

Name : Tan Shu Mei

Programme Director, noMADic RACE© Black! Edition

Name 3 strengths you possess:
1) Committed to things I am tasked or have promised upon
2) Being meticulous
3) Willingness to take on any challenges

Name 3 weakness you realize:
1) at times unable to handle stress well
2) procrastination
3) at times too task-orientated.

Who is your model leader, alive or passed, anywhere in the world? And why?
-Mr Lee Kuan Yew:
Mr Lee is such an influential leader and was able to envision a future for Singapore. He observed how the different governments managed their respective countries and the various methods adopted in the different area like politics and financial systems. Mr Lee was capable of picking out the different methodologies and combining them and shaped into one that suits Singapore the best. Besides, he is very people-orientated as well. In the past, when he was in better health, he often visit estates and makes sure that Singaporeans’ welfare are being taken care of. Mr Lee is a man who goes all out and willing to sacrifice for his people. He is a great leader who is also capable of grooming leaders like his son, Mr Lee Hsien Loong. Not only that, he has modelled the way for the People Action Party.
- My Rugby Teacher in JC, Mr Kwok:
Mr Kwok is one of the more popular teachers in school. Many students, especially the ruggers, respect him a lot. During trainings and PE lessons, he can be very strict to ensure the tasks and goal set are being met and achieved. But at the same time, he looks after the welfare of his students, ensuring that not only they are focusing on the rugby games, they are also as highly-motivated and study hard for exams as well. It is till the extent that he organises study sessions for the ruggers and handles the ruggers discipline personally. To sum it up, he is a highly-respectable leader who is able to balance between being task-orientated and people-orientated.

Answer this: What is your personal take; idea; definition, of Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to lead. To be able to lead, one must possess a certain basic skills.
A leader is one who has the ability to balance being task-orientated and people-orientated. He/she must be able to lead his team to achieve the goal set, but at the same time, he must have a good relationship with his fellow mates in order to achieve it together. He must not be too task-orientated and compromise on the welfare of others.
Besides, I feel that a leader must be able to fulfil the 5 pillars of ‘The Leadership Challenge Model’ created by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, which are

1)Model the way
2) Inspiring a shared vision
3) Challenge the process
4) Enable others to act
5) Encourage the heart

It is because, being a Leader, one must be able to lead by example as he or she is one whom people looks up as a role model (Model the way). He also needs to envision the future for the team to work towards to (Inspiring a shared vision), and to open up directions for the team. Not only that, he is often in search of opportunities to change how things are being done and ensure goals are being met with an approach as efficient and appropriate as possible (Challenge the process). Motivating and empowering his team mates are as important as well. (Enable others to act & encouraging the heart) He must be able to provide them with the necessary tools to act upon the task given and also to give them the confidence that they are able to it.
All in all, I believe that ‘The leadership Challenge’ Model shapes up the basic definition of ‘Leadership’.

A good leader is one who is able to possess the qualities as mentioned above. An awesome leader would be one who is able to groom others to become a better leader than who he is.

(dang, photos cant be copied and pasted.next time!)
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